Learning to own your success is something that maybe not everyone struggles with but it is definitely something I need to stop and take a minute on at least once a day.
I am not talking about walking around the office, classroom, bus, mall or any other populated area like a peacock, rustling my feathers in everyone’s face. What I am talking about is owning my success much like how I readily own my failures. Instead of boosting about how I messed up my clean eating maybe I should pat myself on the back for the solid 70 days I did before the crazies really started to set in. Or being excited that I got out running three days in a week when really I should have done four.
I’m sure/ I hope I am not the only one that is somehow more readily able to admit a fault/failure than my potential successes. I mean I know I work and study my butt off but if I were to vocalize that to someone I would some how feel like I was bragging or rubbing it in or whatever. Where as talking about my faults forget about it I could list those off for days, especially if it was going to make someone else feel better about their precieved short comings.
What I am realizing the more I blog, the more I share through Facebook, twitter and instagram and the more I take the time to journal for my own personal stuff is that others seem to be more interested in hearing about how I succeeded at something rather than how I may have failed miserably. Sure I think it is good to have a balance of what I share and I think it is important to admit fault because it shows that I am human, it also hopefully demonstrates my growth in this health journey of mine. But I am still learning/struggling with patting myself on the back and allowing myself to feel pride to the fullest of its extent.
So here are some steps I have been taking for the past, oh I don’t know forever now that might help you if you are like me and have a difficult time finding all the wonderful in yourself.
1. Enough with the negative self talk already! It isn’t getting you anywhere and it is probably making you feel worse than you did when you started off. Take a second to analyze (I strongly recommend journaling for this) what you are saying, what sparked that thought, if it something you say to yourself often, and then answer this “how has repeatedly saying those negative things actually helped you to progress in your goals?” Chances are once you get through this process you will realize that all of those thoughts have done nothing but hold you back, calling yourself “fat” or telling yourself that you aren’t dedicated enough to your workout routine, your healthy eating regiment, studying, relationships, etc. likely hasn’t gotten you very far in being a happier healthier person.
2. Stop, would you talk like that to a friend? I LOVE this tactic because I actually have to make myself stop and assess what is going on. I have to make myself think “Would I ever actually sit here and list off all the failures of someone else to friend?” or better “Would I ever list a friend’s failures?” Although I share my setbacks with all of you on my blog, I share them as learning tools and to let you know what I have learnt from the experience. Although I think it is healthy to understand when you haven’t quite made the “cut” I also think it is important to understand everything that went into that outcome, including all of the effort that was put into working towards a goal so that you can learn from it and build, not tear yourself to bits.
3. I tell myself nice things. Oh goodness *eye roll*. Yeah it sounds super cheesy but based on my experience if you are waiting/relying on others to tell you nice things you could be waiting a REAL long time. So start taking a moment (once again in a journal) to write down the amazing things that you are, you do and you will become. You become what you say and believe. If you believe you can’t run a 10k race then well you can’t, the first step in any process is to believe that you can do it. So tell yourself some nice things and believe those nice things.
4. You probably aren’t a failure. This one might seem weird, but a lot of the time when we start something, let’s take weight loss as an example, and after a month of sticking to a plan if we haven’t dropped 20 pounds and developed a six pack we jump to this idea of being a failure. Maybe we think we are failures because we are doing the same plan as someone else and well they have a six pack, so you must have failed right? NOPE! not the case, we are all made different which means we will all take different paths to our optimal health. It also means none of us will ever look the same. So instead of labeling yourself a failure and giving up on your goals, focus in on the things you have achieved and remember as long as you keep trying failure isn’t even in the cards for you.
5. Allow yourself to celebrate. Once you achieve something celebrate it, don’t sweep it under the rug, focus in on the things you could have done differently to get their faster or shrug it off in favour of lifting someone else up. You have worked hard and you deserve to be proud of yourself and to celebrate all of your successes. That celebration can be anything, a new pair of running shorts, heading to the movies, or sharing your success and excitement with a friend, just do it! You deserve to be excited and to share your accomplishments with others. Chances are if you choose to share your success you are going to motivate someone else to stick to their goals and to keep moving forward too.
I have found these little steps super helpful in allowing myself to be proud and excited about my own personal successes and I hope you find them successful for you too. Even if you don’t have a hard time owning your success give this a try it might help you find a bit more light and positivity in your life.
Happy Friday the 13th everyone! I hope you are having a great day!