Old Hat

Soon (next Tuesday) I will no longer be a full fledge member of the personal training brigade and it will become my responsibility to motivate myself to make it out to the gym, to keep my meals healthy and more importantly to get myself to do all of these things even when really all I want to do is put on a pair of sweatpants and eat potato chips.

I am pretty conflicted about this next portion of my fitness journey, on one hand I cannot wait to get started, get out on my own, workout around my schedule, and see how much I am capable of on my own. But on the other hand I am freaking the *beep* out, worrying about how fast I am going to be back in my “fat pants” and then not having them will cost me a fortune. So today I decided enough is enough, it was time to get rid of the old and finally sink some money into the new.

After 6 months of losing inches, weight, and fat I had not gone out and bought myself a new pair of pants. Well that isn’t true, I bought new workout pants because I was pulling them up anytime I did anything, but other than that no new clothing.So this past weekend in Toronto I went shopping to purchase a pair of new pants with a girlfriend when I came out to show her what they looked like I said “oh god are they too tight? They feel really tight” to which she replied “Brittany, just wear tight”. Perhaps it was a bit of a joke, perhaps it was fashion advice but it actually got me thinking.

For the past 6 months I have been wearing pants that feel like sweat pants, skinny jeans that are no longer skinny and tights that have gotten closer to being PJ pants than tights. It wasn’t until this moment when I put on a pair of properly fitting pants that I realized just how big of an injustice I had been serving myself.

By not updating my wardrobe and purchasing items that fit my body I was allowing my mind to continue seeing myself through my “chubby shades”. I feel like anyone who is in the process of losing weight can perhaps relate to this feeling. For me the chubby shades allow me to see my progress, but they don’t really allow me to enjoy it. I mean right now I know I am well on my way to meeting my goals I am proud of myself and I am motivated, but those darn shades keep saying “oh but you might still need those pants” or “don’t worry about it just put a belt on they totally still fit”. Well I have decided that it is time to throw though shades in the trash and get rid of some baggy clothing while I’m at it.
pile-o-clothesHaving declared this to myself this morning. I started writing an email to some girlfriends letting them know I was going to be getting rid of my clothing, about halfway through I decided “no this is an awful idea” and deleted the email. I then decided I would test out the water and let one girlfriend know, and even that was entirely more emotional than I thought it would be. As I went through describing the articles of clothing I would have up for grabs, it finally came to my Citizens of Humanity jeans and it just hurt. If you know me you know I don’t spend much on expensive clothing, I have never really seen the point (except for when it comes to my running/yoga gear) but these pants, these pants were my expensive fancy brand name pants and I loved them. However, after toying with the idea of bringing them to the tailor to have them taken in two sizes and let out in the calves, I realized that hanging onto these pants was only holding me back from being able to truly appreciate and see all of my successes. So with a tear in my eye I am releasing these pants to a new home where I know they will be treated well and will make a good friend very happy.

I think we all know we shouldn’t keep clothing around that is too big for us, there is no point in keeping an “emergency” pair of pants because it is almost like willing yourself to go backwards on your progress-o-meter. So after always encouraging all of your to be positive, keep moving forward, and to acknowledge your own success I will be taking my own advice and I am leaving old baggy pant Brittany in the past no matter how sick to my stomach it makes me.

I think the best way to end this post is with some words from Eleanor….

Happy Thursday Everyone!


3 thoughts on “Old Hat

  1. I found this post really inspiring. I think because it called out the inner-turmoil and struggle we all feel when we know we need to actively make the decision to let go of some part of our past so that we are in a better position to move on with our future and letting go is always hard, or at least harder than you think it’ll be. And I think this also underscored how you can’t just be physically committed to making a difference in your health but also psychologically committed and it’s not easy, arguably scary, to surrender yourself so wholeheartedly to anything. Congrats on letting go and moving forward!
    Goodbye baggy pant Brittany – see ya never!

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