Who’s that in the Mirror?

I started writing this post prior to going to my training session last night.  The session was not only a workout but it was also a weigh-in day for me.  I figured it was a good time to address how I have been feeling about my body changing and the types of things that have been going through my head, mainly because I was on a bit of a high and pretty certain that my body would be providing me with some positive feedback in terms of measurements and body fat percentage.   Honestly I was extremely excited to see my results because I was so sure I was going to exceed the progress I had seen the month before.

Well, unfortunately that wasn’t so much the case. I gained a bit of weight (most likely from muscle so I am not really down on that) and only lost 1 single inch. As bummed out as I am about all of this I do understanding that I am definitely toning up and I am seeing positive results like my clothing fitting much better looser but for some reason seeing such a small amount of numerical progress felt like a punch in the gut.
weighinI attempted to keep a happy face on, because I am honestly very proud of what I have achieved to date and grateful for the person I am and the body I have, but I guess my disappointment was more apparent than I had hoped it would be so Alannah and I ended up having a long chat.  We spoke about my reaction to the information (not so great folks) and what we could both to move forward and progress the next time. There is no point dwelling right?

After mapping out my priorities, responsibilities, time restrictions and goals I slowly came around to the realization that not every month is going to be a life changing weigh-in month. Although the weigh-in didn’t go as I had hoped and planned I still feel like this post I had started was relevant, and that it is still good to highlight positives even if I am having a hard time believing them right now. It is definitely worth giving myself credit for the work that I have done and talking about getting used to my new body.

As my body has started to change I have noticed a few things, mainly how attached I seem to be to my looser clothing. Almost, like I am keeping them because I am under the assumption that I will lapse back to my starting weight and they fit properly again.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am excited and happy for all the changes I have been seeing but there seems to be some sort of unconscious hesitation to accept them.  Seeing my before and during photos a couple weeks ago actually helped with the acceptance and acknowledgement of my body’s transformation.   I mean I know my body has changed, I know I am toning up I can see it, but I think it is one of those when you see something every day you don’t notice all the changes out there type of deal, so it wasn’t until I saw the pictures back to back that I realized just how much progress I have made to date.

I am at this stage now where I am excited and nervous at the same time. It is this sort of adjustment period where I am relearning how to navigate clothing shopping (seriously how do you find out what your pant size is?!) and the struggling with the fear worry that without constant vigilance I will end up back where I started (which has been my experience in the past). It is this period of adjustment and of becoming comfortable where I am and learning how to accept things as they are for right now which I am finding almost as hard as finding the initial motivation to get started.  Is that weird? I am not sure.

So I have started to think that perhaps it is a good thing that there weren’t massive leaps and bounds for the weigh-in this month because it will give me some time to get used to all the changes that have occurred and to be grateful and proud of the successes that I have achieved.  Also maybe it will give me the time I need to find out what my pant size is now and buy a pair that fit properly.  So I guess I have some homework to work on for the next month or so.

Happy Thursday! 

Have any of you ever encountered the same feeling of getting “used” to your new body? Or actually realizing all of the transformations that have taken place?  

P.S. Just a little aside, I have not forgotten about providing everyone with an arm update.  I just actually have to take the pictures, so instead of a month it will be two, but that just means my build and my strength phase will have been included, and I think it will provide a pretty decent visual of how us ladies don’t bulk up like men. So that is to come in the next couple of days/weeks.


6 thoughts on “Who’s that in the Mirror?

  1. Pingback: Another Month, Another Phase | gingersneezes

  2. Pingback: Hiccups and Goals | gingersneezes

  3. Yesterday I watched a great documentary called “Hungry for Change” It is about the health food and diet industry. A lot of it was about actual foods – like what really happens to us when we take in artificial sweeteners sugars, “low fat”, MSG etc. Super interesting…
    But the end of the movie was about the mental side of health. There was a message in it that made me think about this post. They talked about how love, and self love, is a big part of managing stress and having sustainable health success. If you are holding onto insecurities and self-doubt/hate, than your body is going to hold onto chemicals/hormones, fats, non-productive eating patterns, etc. They talked about a practice with the mantra “I accept myself unconditionally, RIGHT NOW”. It really got me thinking about how no matter where someone is on their health journey or in relation to their goals, that truly accepting yourself on any given day (even weight in day) is going to be what leads to success.

    Being very pregnant I have been `getting used to` a new body every day for the past nine months, and have to be accepting of the unpredictable transformations that are ahead of me.

    • I have definitely seen that documentary and I really liked it. I mean I know all documentaries are bent one way or another in favor of an opinion but I really thought this one had a good message. Put good things in your body, treat your body well and it will do great things for you.
      thanks so much for sharing!

  4. Have you ever heard the term NSV (Non-scale victories)? It’s apparently a term a lot of people who do Weight Watchers use when they have a bad or unexpected week. It can be anything from an inch lost (congrats by the way) to a decision to not eat a tempting cupcake, to mastering a really difficult yoga sequence. It’s a great way to snap out of Debbie Downer mode when the scale is being unkind. It’s also harder to see those big losses on the scale when you have less and less weight to lose. The losses in the beginning are bigger, but the more you lose, the harder it gets. It’s a cruel paradox. This might sound a little (or a lot) shallow, but I’ve lost almost 20 pounds so far and not ONE person that I haven’t told I’ve lost weight has mentioned that I look thinner on their own, without me saying something first. It sort of feels frustrating because I see the changes, but other people haven’t yet. It’s silly, but it just makes you feel good, ya know? Also, the whole jeans thing is a mystery to me too. I’m wearing my old size right now and they are about to fall off of me, but when I went back to the same store and tried on the same exact jeans in the same exact size, they were too small. I think it’s because clothing companies all use a slightly different sizing method.. I think you just have to try on a billion pair..=) Good luck with that.

    • Miranda thanks so much for sharing. I know what you mean about people noticing. It is definitely nice to receive a complement or two especially when you are putting in so much work – 20lbs that is absolutely incredible! Congrats!!

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