I started writing this post prior to going to my training session last night. The session was not only a workout but it was also a weigh-in day for me. I figured it was a good time to address how I have been feeling about my body changing and the types of things that have been going through my head, mainly because I was on a bit of a high and pretty certain that my body would be providing me with some positive feedback in terms of measurements and body fat percentage. Honestly I was extremely excited to see my results because I was so sure I was going to exceed the progress I had seen the month before.
Well, unfortunately that wasn’t so much the case. I gained a bit of weight (most likely from muscle so I am not really down on that) and only lost 1 single inch. As bummed out as I am about all of this I do understanding that I am definitely toning up and I am seeing positive results like my clothing fitting much
better looser but for some reason seeing such a small amount of numerical progress felt like a punch in the gut.
I attempted to keep a happy face on, because I am honestly very proud of what I have achieved to date and grateful for the person I am and the body I have, but I guess my disappointment was more apparent than I had hoped it would be so Alannah and I ended up having a long chat. We spoke about my reaction to the information (not so great folks) and what we could both to move forward and progress the next time. There is no point dwelling right?
After mapping out my priorities, responsibilities, time restrictions and goals I slowly came around to the realization that not every month is going to be a life changing weigh-in month. Although the weigh-in didn’t go as I had hoped and planned I still feel like this post I had started was relevant, and that it is still good to highlight positives even if I am having a hard time believing them right now. It is definitely worth giving myself credit for the work that I have done and talking about getting used to my new body.
As my body has started to change I have noticed a few things, mainly how attached I seem to be to my looser clothing. Almost, like I am keeping them because I am under the assumption that I will lapse back to my starting weight and they fit properly again. Now don’t get me wrong, I am excited and happy for all the changes I have been seeing but there seems to be some sort of unconscious hesitation to accept them. Seeing my before and during photos a couple weeks ago actually helped with the acceptance and acknowledgement of my body’s transformation. I mean I know my body has changed, I know I am toning up I can see it, but I think it is one of those when you see something every day you don’t notice all the changes out there type of deal, so it wasn’t until I saw the pictures back to back that I realized just how much progress I have made to date.
I am at this stage now where I am excited and nervous at the same time. It is this sort of adjustment period where I am relearning how to navigate clothing shopping (seriously how do you find out what your pant size is?!) and the struggling with the
fear worry that without constant vigilance I will end up back where I started (which has been my experience in the past). It is this period of adjustment and of becoming comfortable where I am and learning how to accept things as they are for right now which I am finding almost as hard as finding the initial motivation to get started. Is that weird? I am not sure.
So I have started to think that perhaps it is a good thing that there weren’t massive leaps and bounds for the weigh-in this month because it will give me some time to get used to all the changes that have occurred and to be grateful and proud of the successes that I have achieved. Also maybe it will give me the time I need to find out what my pant size is now and buy a pair that fit properly. So I guess I have some homework to work on for the next month or so.
Have any of you ever encountered the same feeling of getting “used” to your new body? Or actually realizing all of the transformations that have taken place?
P.S. Just a little aside, I have not forgotten about providing everyone with an arm update. I just actually have to take the pictures, so instead of a month it will be two, but that just means my build and my strength phase will have been included, and I think it will provide a pretty decent visual of how us ladies don’t bulk up like men. So that is to come in the next couple of days/weeks.